Finding Intention in Ruin
Though arbitrary, the transition to a new calendar year is an opportunity to reflect on the previous year's time. All over the internet, we can find neatly packaged summaries of 365 days from people and businesses, politics and entertainment.
A part of me feels inclined to participate, except my life (like many of our lives) can't be summarized into a neat package-- especially this year.
2017 was the most unexpected and messiest year of my life, so far.
Personally, I was on an emotional rollercoaster that forced me to face my past, my insecurities, and myself as I fell in love and then everything fell apart. Professionally, I was never quite able to get a solid footing as I moved my business twice and struggled to show up as a business owner amid the chaos of my personal life.
So, here I sit, just after 3 AM on New Year's Day reflecting, forgiving, and accepting that the past 365 days turned out like nothing I could have imagined. I am ready to move forward into a new year with new intentional goals and plans. Though I don't believe in resolutions, I do believe in intention.
Intention guides us. It can heal us. It is our mantra, battle cry, focus, and constant. Intention can transform us if we allow it.
My intention for 2018 is to be brave.
For far too long, I've been unbrave. This has meant being scared and anxious and constantly worried I've said or done something wrong. It's meant apologizing for taking up space, for existing at all. Living an unbrave life has kept me small--it's prevented me from using my voice without fear or anxiety, it's caused me to fear being visible, it's convinced me that people won't like the real me. Being unbrave has destroyed many of my relationships. Being unbrave has kept me on the sidelines of my own life.
I am ready to start living a full life. I am ready for new experiences and new adventures. I am ready to stop apologizing for being who I am. I am ready to use my voice--loudly and proudly without shame. I am ready to love and be loved. I am ready to truly live.
What is your intention for this new year?
With love & rebellion,